


Mishaps

by errantknightess



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-04-21 12:19:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4828919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errantknightess/pseuds/errantknightess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short stories about people getting themselves into weird situations.<br/>(Collected prompts from an old tumblr meme.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well, this is awkward (Allen + Lavi)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a drabble meme on tumblr. Prompt: "Well, this is awkward..."

It was a long day, but finally it was coming to an end. Allen kicked off his shoes and plopped down on the couch in the living room, fishing his phone out of his pocket. A day like that called for some well-deserved pizza and a _Parks & Rec_ marathon. He tapped out the number of a local pizzeria and made an order, his stomach growling at the very mention of food. Good thing they were still delivering this late at night. His dinner secured, Allen shucked his jeans and sprawled on the couch, mindlessly shuffling through the phone and wondering briefly why his obnoxious flatmate was being so suspiciously quiet.

He got his answer not ten minutes later, when the front door opened and slammed shut with a force only Kanda could muster. So he _did_ go out sometimes. That was unexpected -- and even more unexpected were the low, quick-talking voices in the corridor, indicating that Kanda came into contact with another human being and hadn’t killed or scared them off yet. Allen peeked up over the screen, right in time to see his flatmate stomping into the room with his default frown on his face.

“You,” he barked, pointing a finger at Allen in lieu of a greeting. “Out.”

“Excuse me?” Allen raised an eyebrow.

“You heard me.” Kanda’s scowl deepened. “Get out. I need the place.”

“But I-- Hey!” Allen wasn’t allowed to finish because Kanda lifted him from the couch and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As they passed by the kitchen, Allen noticed a dark-haired girl watching the entire scene with understandable bewilderment. His jaw dropped.

“Don’t tell me…” he muttered. _Kanda_ had a _date_? Did he _blackmail_ the poor girl?

“Step inside and you’re dead,” the newfound Romeo snarled, opening the door and dropping Allen on the porch. Before he could get his bearings, the door slammed shut.

“At least give me my pants!” Allen shouted in panic as he heard the rattle of an engine behind him and realized he was standing with his backside to the traffic in nothing but boxers. After a couple of seconds, the door opened a crack and his jeans smacked him square in the face. Allen sighed and started to put them on.

“A lovers’ squabble?” a voice behind his back asked.

“Ugh, no way!” Allen winced, turning around to see a tall redhead with an eyepatch and a cardboard box in his hands. “He’s just my flatmate. And a jerk.”

“I see,” the redhead laughed, eyeing him with amusement. Allen wondered if he had caught a glimpse of the print on his boxers. “Uh, I’ve got pizza for this address. But I’m kinda afraid to ring the doorbell now.”

Allen couldn’t help but smile.

“That’s all right, it’s for me anyway. Let me just sneak in for my wallet, it won’t be a moment.”

He pushed the handle, but it didn’t yield. Confused, Allen rammed into the door with his shoulder. No luck.

“Well, this is awkward.” He looked at the redhead sheepishly, scratching his head. “It looks like my flatmate locked me out.”

“Aww, man!” the redhead pouted. “That’s not fun.”

“Tell me about it…” Allen sighed and gave the redhead a resigned look. “I don’t suppose you can give me a boost to the window?”

“You want me to assist you in a break-in and stealthy acquisition of property?” the redhead shook his head and suddenly his face lit up with a huge grin. “Count me in!”

“Great!” Allen tugged him along and pointed at the open window right above the porch. “We’ve got screens in the lower windows, but I can get in through that one. Just help me up.”

“No problem.” The redhead rolled his arms and folded his hands into a step. Allen hopped on, grabbing at his shoulders to hold his balance and feeling even more silly than before. Spiky red hair tickled his chin and he caught a whiff of mint shampoo-- and then his accomplice raised his hands and Allen nearly toppled over. He grasped at the drainpipe for the dear life and pulled himself up, but he still had a way to go.

“A little higher, please?”

“I’m giving you all I’ve got, beansprout,” the redhead huffed, and if he wasn’t currently the only thing keeping Allen from a hard landing, that remark would have earned him a solid kick. Allen swallowed loudly and let go of the drainpipe, reaching out for the window as far as he could.

“Careful,” he heard from down below. “You’re gonna—“

Allen let out an undignified shriek as his hand slipped and suddenly he felt himself falling. He braced himself for hitting the ground, but the landing was much softer than he expected -- and it smelled faintly of mint.

“Oh my god, are you all right?” Allen heaved himself up, his face flushing with embarrassment. He rolled off the redhead, trying not to think too much about how _comfortable_ he was. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Relax, I’m okay.” The redhead smiled, rubbing the back of his head but otherwise looking fine. “So the window is not an option. What now?”

“I don’t know,” Allen sighed. “Would it be all right if I stopped by and payed the bill tomorrow? I’ll tip you extra, I promise. Can I get your name?”

“It’s Lavi. And that’s fine, I guess.” The redhead held out his hand and Allen shook it before helping him up off the ground.

“Nice to meet you. I’m really sorry about all of this.”

“Nah, it’s all good. At least I had some fun at the end of the day.”

“You’re off now?” Allen peeked at his watch. He really hoped he didn’t hold the guy up.

“That’s my last delivery.” Lavi nodded. “And let me tell you, it beats everything I’ve seen today, hands down.”

“I can believe that,” Allen laughed. “Though I can’t say I’m particularly proud because of that.”

“Why not? Embrace it!” Lavi gave him a playful punch in the arm and headed off towards his scooter parked at the curb. But before he crossed the lawn, Allen called out after him.

“Hey, Lavi?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you like pepperoni?”

Even from the distance, Allen could see the smirk on his face.

“That’s my favourite. Why are you asking?”

“Because,” Allen smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets, “I happen to have a large pie on my porch, and I’m locked out of my house with nothing to do for at least a few more hours.”

Lavi shook his head with a laugh.

“Well then, I think I can help you. But don’t think you’ll dodge that extra tip.”


	2. Hey, have you seen my...? (Allen + Lavi)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a drabble meme on tumblr. Prompt: "Hey, have you seen my...? Oh."

Allen dragged himself into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes with one hand and kneading his empty stomach with the other. He’s been studying for too long. He needed a break. He needed a nap. And first of all, he needed to eat something. Unfortunately, his exhaustion beat his hunger, so instead of making himself a proper dinner, he decided to settle for a sandwich -- or five.

His plans were thwarted at an unexpectedly early stage. Allen gathered everything he needed on the counter, but when he reached into the drawer for the bread knife, his hand met void. He looked around the kitchen with bleary eyes, but the knife was nowhere in sight. Grumbling under his breath, Allen checked all the other drawers, then the plate rack, then the dishwasher. Nothing. Where could it go?

Allen sighed, casting a longing look at the pile of sandwich ingredients he had readied. Then it hit him. Maybe Lavi tossed it somewhere it didn’t belong – wouldn’t be the first time. Rather than turn the entire kitchen (and, not unlikely, the rest of the flat) upside down, Allen headed to his flatmate’s room to ask him personally. He knocked twice, waited a moment, and when he still didn’t get an answer, he opened the door and slid inside.

“Hey, have you seen the… Oh,” Allen cut himself short. On the upside, he found the knife; on the downside, Lavi was aiming it right at him, standing on his desk, and judging by his desperate grip on the handle, he probably wasn’t about to let go of it any soon.

“Holy shit, Allen, close the damn door behind you!”

Allen knew better than to argue with a man holding a knife, so he kicked the door shut, eyes fixed cautiously on his flatmate.

“Um, Lavi? What are you doing?”

“Hunting.”

“Okay,” said Allen slowly, trying to process this information in his sleep-and-food-deprived brain. “And what are you hunting for?”

“I’m not sure,” Lavi answered in a trembling voice. “But it’s huge, hairy, and out for my blood.”

“How many hours of sleep have you been getting lately?” Allen asked carefully, still very aware of the knife in his friend’s hands. Lavi ignored the question, too focused on scanning the floor. Then, he looked back to Allen with a deep frown.

“Get up here,” he ordered.

“What?”

“Get on the desk, Allen.”

“Not until you put away that knife.”

“That’s my only weapon!” Lavi protested. “I’ll be helpless without it!”

“I will protect you,” Allen deadpanned. “Now put it down and calm down.”

Lavi pouted, but obliged. Relieved, Allen climbed onto the desk with him; he figured maybe this way he’ll be able to see whatever freaked his friend out so much.

As it turned out, not really.

“So where is it?” Allen searched the floor, peering into the bare boards. “This hairy monster of yours? Do you see it?”

“No,” Lavi sighed. “But it was right there, I swear! I saw it!”

“Well, what did it look like?”

“I told you! It was huge and hairy. And long. And it kinda-- ohmygod, ALLEN, IT’S THERE!”

Lavi clung to Allen, screaming straight into his ear, which obviously distracted him from whatever was on the floor. Allen was really glad he had made Lavi drop the knife.

“Where?” he asked once he regained composure.

“Over there.” Lavi pointed, one arm still wrapped tight around Allen. “Right by the bed.”

Allen looked.

Hairy, check. Huge, not so much. Out for blood? Unlikely.

“Lavi, it’s just a mouse.”

“Pretty sure that’s a rat, actually” Lavi mumbled into Allen’s shoulder, squeezing him for dear life. “Did you know a single rat can eat an entire adult human? _Alive_?”

“I didn’t know that and I didn’t _want_ to know that.” Allen shook his head. “So what are you going to do with it?”

“Kill it.” Lavi bent down slowly and grabbed the knife, not taking his eye off the creature even for a second. The creature looked back at him with black, beady eyes.

“Lavi, you’re aware that knives aren’t exactly range weapons, right? You’d have to come closer if you want to kill it with that. Besides, that’s a _bread knife_. We make food with it. You will _not_ put it anywhere near that thing.”

“Okay, so bring me a hammer or something like that.”

“I don’t see how a hammer is any better…”

“Fine! You’ve got some other idea? Or am I going to be stuck with you on this desk forever? Not that I mind,” Lavi added quickly, pressing closer to Allen as the rodent on the floor scurried towards them.

“ _I’m_ not stuck anywhere,” Allen pointed out, freeing himself from Lavi’s panicked embrace and sliding off the desk. The critter dashed under the bed and Lavi cried out in horror, but Allen left the room, remembering to close the door behind him.

“Allen! Where are you going? Don’t leave me here! Allen!” Lavi’s screams followed him into the kitchen, and Allen couldn’t help but smile a little. He rummaged through the cupboards and the things he had left on the table, and finally headed back to Lavi’s room, armed and ready.

“Allen! I thought you left me to die!” Lavi called as soon as Allen cracked the door open and sneaked inside.

“I’m offended. How could you think I would do that?” Allen smirked. “Now wait a minute and we’ll get rid of your little guest.”

Allen put a bit of various food scraps into a glass jar and set it sideways on the floor. Then, he jumped onto Lavi’s bed and put a finger to his lips to shush its owner. They waited a couple of minutes, and sure enough, the creature soon made an appearance again, crawling from under the bed and sniffling around. Allen tensed in anticipation as it rushed to the jar and sat inside, munching on a shred of lettuce. With nearly inhuman speed, Allen swooped down to seize the jar and put the lid on it.

“You got it?” Lavi gasped, clutching dramatically at his heart. “Heck yes, Allen, you got it! Woohoo!” He jumped off the desk and crossed the room with a huge grin to give Allen a pat on the shoulder.

“I’ll be back in a second.” Allen raised the jar. “I’ll just let this poor thing go outside.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Lavi waved his hand, and then suddenly pulled Allen into a tight hug. “My hero. Thanks a lot, man.”

“No problem.” Allen smiled, letting his head linger a bit on Lavi’s shoulder. “But if you really want to thank me, a sandwich will be much appreciated. I’m starving. And don’t forget to put the bread knife back in the drawer, okay?”

“Sure thing. Anything you want.”


	3. Hey, have you seen my...? (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt was so much fun that I got it twice ^^ (And so much fun that I didn't really mind writing it again!)

A sudden gust of wind shook the door and fluttered the papers on the desk. Lavi leaned forward and closed the window before the draught could make a mess of his work. It was late in the afternoon and the air was getting chilly, anyway; Lavi rubbed his arms and looked around for his hoodie. He would usually leave it hanging at the foot of his bed, but it wasn’t there.

Lavi got up from the chair and crossed the room to look on the floor. Nope. Not under the bed, either, and the closet didn’t cough it up as well. Slightly miffed by the time he finished checking the laundry basket  and the dryer, Lavi knocked on Allen’s door and poked his head in.

“Hey, have you seen my… Oh,” he trailed off as his eye met Allen’s glance.

“You’re looking for this?” Allen asked, looking at him over a book and tugging at the hoodie hanging from his lean frame. “I’m sorry I took it without asking. You weren’t home and I was cold, and all of my sweaters were in the laundry. You can have it back now.” He started to pull the hoodie off over his head, but Lavi stopped him.

“No, keep it. You look good in it.”

“I feel good, too.” Allen curled his shoulders up, snuggling into the fabric. “But I can’t let you catch a cold. Here,” he said with resolve, taking the hoodie off and handing it over to Lavi.

“Thanks.” Lavi smiled, patting down Allen’s hair that got ruffled when he undressed. “Wait a moment, I’ll give you a blanket in exchange.”

“All right.” Allen’s smile followed him to the door and Lavi headed back to his own room to look for the blanket, putting the hoodie on as he went. Allen’s warmth still lingered on the fabric, wrapping around his chest like a hug.

 


	4. The stupidest plan ever (Allen + Lavi)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for a drabble meme on tumblr. Prompt: "This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had. Of course I’m in."

The portable electric fan was on its last legs, the air conditioning unit was rattling spasmodically, and Allen was about to give up as well. It was too hot for anything. He didn’t even feel like eating, and that meant the situation was indeed drastic. If this was spring, what will summer look like?

Allen fanned his face with a notebook. He was supposed to be studying, but he could feel his brain sizzling inside his head. This weather didn’t favour thinking.

“Alleeeen, what are you doing?”

Allen looked over at the shirtless pile of misery that was his roommate, currently sprawled on the bed with his face smushed into a pillow.

“Dying,” Allen sighed. “How are you still breathing over there?”

“I’m not. I’m already dead.” Lavi rolled over on his back and crossed his arms behind his head, peering into the ceiling with an empty gaze.

“Great, so can I have your bed, then?” Allen leaned back on the chair, forgetting about his revisions for good.

“No.” Lavi raised his head to look at him with a wicked smile. “But I can share it with you.”

“I’m not sharing the bed with a corpse. Besides, it’s too warm for cuddles, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, too bad.” Lavi pouted. “Geez, I miss winter. Hot cocoa, fluffy blankets, dumb Christmas sweaters…”

“Stop it,” Allen whined. “You’re not helping.”

“Sorry.” Lavi laughed and sat up on the bed, resting his chin on his knees. “Remember that time we went skating?”

“You were hopeless.” Allen smiled fondly, recalling how he had to tow his friend by the hand all around the rink. “Ugh, I can’t wait for the next winter already! There’s way more fun things to do when it’s snowing than in this heat.”

“I feel you. I’m bored out of my mind.” Suddenly, Lavi bolted upright, his face lit up with a huge grin. “Hey, let’s just screw it and go skiing, how about that?”

Allen frowned.

“You mean water-skiing? Lavi, the sea is three hours by car from here. And we don’t _have_ a car.”

“No, I mean regular skiing. And we don’t even have to leave the dorm.” Lavi’s eye drilled into Allen’s incredulous face. “What? You don’t think it’s a good idea?”

“I think your brain had boiled out through your ears,” Allen snorted. “Just how are you going to do that?”

“I’ll just need a long corridor and some styrofoam. And your help, of course. You in?”

“This is without a doubt the stupidest plan you’ve ever had.” Allen shook his head with a smile. “Of course I’m in.”

***

“Ready?”

“Just a moment!” Allen called across the corridor. The floor was covered in tiny white beads as far as he could see; all that was left now was the three-meter stretch between the last door and the staircase. Allen methodically spread the bits of styrofoam in that area, spilling them a tad more generously at the end of his path to empty the container. They were lucky that most people were sealed up in their rooms cramming before the exams and not wandering about to witness this idiocy. Once he was done, Allen tossed the box away and gave Lavi a thumbs-up.

“All right, I’m finished!”

“Heck yeah.” At the other end of the corridor, Lavi pulled down his goggles and positioned himself. Ski boots weren’t exactly the perfect attire for this weather, and he could already tell he’ll come to deal with massive blisters, but oh, the things we do for fun! And this -- this was first class fun right there, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t ride into history on these skis.

“Let’s go!” Lavi shouted, pushing himself off with ski sticks; he must have looked quite peculiar, decked out in full skiing gear and wearing nothing but a pair of boxers (though he did took care to pick one with a Christmas print). If anyone happened to pass by, they would likely chalk this sight up to hallucinations from heatstroke.

Lavi rushed down the corridor, the styrofoam providing a wonderful skidding surface. Steering was a bit of a challenge, but after all, the corridor was straight, wasn’t it? There was no need to turn, unless someone suddenly opened the--

“Door!” Allen screamed up ahead of him, and Lavi stared in wide-eyed panic as the last door on the right swung open and a tall, dark-haired figure stepped straight into his path. “No! Kanda, out of the way!”

“What?” Kanda growled, not pleased with taking orders from his least favourite classmate. Instead of an explanation, Allen launched himself at him and pushed him back into the room, slamming the door shut just in time. Unfortunately, that placed him right on Lavi’s course.

To tell the truth, crashing into Allen was probably a safer option than crashing into a door -- or into Kanda. Not that it made them feel any better, though.

“You ruptured my spleen,” Allen wheezed, trying to push Lavi off and ignore how very half-naked he was.

“Shut up, you don’t even know where the spleen is.” Lavi squirmed, his ski-clad feet sliding on the floor as he attempted to pull himself back up.

“Mine is right under your elbow. Get off!”

“Is there any point in asking what the hell are you two morons doing?” Kanda’s head poked out of his room again; this time, he didn’t risk opening the door all the way.

“Spreading the winter spirit?” Allen suggested dryly, still pinned to the floor by his uncoordinated roommate.

“It’s the middle of May. Learn your damn months. Or are you still by the days of the week?” Kanda snorted and left the room, looking both ways before disappearing down the staircase.

“Wow, that was cold.” Lavi shook his head and finally rolled off Allen, coming to lie down on the floor.

“I thought cold was what we wanted?”

“True. But it still wasn’t _cool_. Can you help me take these off?” Lavi wagged his legs; Allen knelt down beside him and for a moment they both struggled with various ties and clasps on the ski boots before freeing the redhead from the bulky footwear.

“How are we going to clean this mess up?” Allen wondered, casting a look along the corridor. The disturbed styrofoam beads fluttered in the draught like a real snow flurry.

“I’ll borrow a vacuum cleaner from miss Miranda later.” Lavi reached out his hand and Allen took it, but instead of helping his friend up, he found himself being pulled down on the floor with him.

“What the—”

“I said later. Now come and make some snow angels with me.”


	5. Crack a smile (Allen + Tyki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "Have I entered an alternate universe, or did you really just crack a smile for me?"

Tyki was in the middle of a very bizarre dream. He was floating up above brilliant white buildings, lifted up into the clear sky by a huge pink umbrella. He glided through the air, twirling gently and relishing in the freedom of the flight -- and then, the umbrella yanked his arm and nose-dived into the void.

“It’s you again,” the umbrella sighed. “I should have guessed.”

His arm was yanked again and Tyki grunted, torn out of sleep for good. Reluctantly, he raised the rim of his hat and opened one eye. It came to rest on a neat black uniform with a silver nametag. _Allen_. Ah, his favourite.

“Good morning, officer,” Tyki yawned, rubbing his eyes and smiling up at the white-haired youth hovering over him.

“Good afternoon,” the security guard corrected, his arms crossed on his chest. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, quite, thank you.” Tyki stretched out and sat up, rubbing his stiffened neck and looking out through the display window. The mall was busy, so indeed it must have been past noon already. Did he really sleep this long?

“So, we meet again,” Tyki remarked, still not moving from the sofa in the display. “Boy, we sure bump into each other a lot lately. I’m inclined to say something’s pushing us together.”

“Yes; that would be my job.” Allen nodded. “And your uncanny tendency to nap on the exposition during my shift. If you are not a client, I will need you to vacate the premises. Sir,” he added with effort.

Tyki waved his hand.

“No need for such pleasantries. We’re old pals, after all. Give me a minute and I’ll be out of here,” he said and pulled the hat deeper on his face, turning it around when the security tag poked him in the nose. Allen sighed.

“Is this your hat?”

“Well, I’m wearing it.”

“I’ll need to see the receipt for it, please.” Allen held out his hand expectantly. Tyki rolled his eyes under the cover and sat up again, making a show of checking his pockets. The jacket came up empty, so did the trousers and the breast pocket of his shirt.

“It would appear I don’t have it.” Tyki shrugged, baring his teeth in a mockery of an apologetic grin. He could see Allen’s fist clenching, but the guard just sighed again and rubbed his temple.

“You’ll have to come with me now. I have to notify the police and you will have to wait for them in the security room,” he rattled off the sequence they both knew all too well, and Tyki couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes once more. “Are you going to—“

“Yes, I’m going to come willingly and you do not need to use force,” he cut in, finally getting up from the sofa. “Have you ever needed to? I’m just curious. How did they make you a security guard? I could probably take you in a fight, you know. And that was an observation, _not_ a threat,” he added quickly, eyeing the stun gun on Allen’s hip.

“They made me a security guard because I’m _good_ ,” Allen answered bluntly, leading Tyki out of the furniture shop, across the main hall and down the narrow side staircase. Tyki matched his stride easily and couldn’t help bouncing a little on the steps as they descended. True, he was a tad disappointed he allowed himself to get caught, but that's life for you. He'll do better next time. There was always a next time.

Allen opened the door at the bottom of the staircase and they found themselves in a small room with not much besides a desk, three chairs and a few CCTV screens.

“Oh, did you guys have a paint job lately?” Tyki looked around the sickly green walls. “I don’t remember that colour. And aww, boy, they took my favourite chair! Why did you let them take it?”

“Just sit down, Mikk.”

Tyki sat down under the cautious glance of his guard, who quickly made a short call and leaned against the wall, not taking his eyes off him even for a moment.

“The police will be here in a while,” Allen said, and Tyki could guess from the tired tone in his voice that it was going to be a really long while. It usually ended that way. _Insignificant social noxiousness_ , they called it. Figures.

“Looks like we’ve got a lot of time on our hands.” Tyki crossed his arms behind his head and longued on the hard wooden chair. “Hey, why the long face? You got me, right? Don’t you get a bonus for things like that? You should be happy.”

“No bonus will make up for having to bear with you.” Allen folded his arms, still piercing him with a steel gaze. Tyki chuckled.

“Come on, I could expect you’d get used to it by now. How many times has it been already?”

“It’s the seventh time this month. But you still haven’t beaten your record of twelve from January.”

“Ah, yes, I remember. Boy, was it cold then.” Tyki shivered. “But you shouldn’t count that time with the sushi shop. You didn’t catch me, after all.”

“You pulled that twice, and I _did_ catch you one time.”

“Really? You sure have good memory. And here I was thinking I’m never on your mind.” Tyki smiled to himself and fished out a packet of cigarettes. He pulled one out with his teeth, but before he found his lighter, Allen leaned forward and snatched the cigarette from his mouth.

“You can’t smoke here, you know. I could expect you’d remember that by now.”

Tyki blinked a few times with a blank expression, but in a moment the smile was back on his lips.

“Come on, boy, make an exception for a regular.”

“No chance in hell.” Allen twirled the unlit cigarette in his fingers, looking over at him with suspicion. “Did you steal these, too?”

“How rude.” Tyki shook his head. “If you have to know, I bought them. With the money I rightfully won in an honest game.”

“An honest game of counting cards, no doubt.” Allen smirked. “So you still play, then? Even after all those times I beat you clear to your underpants? You never learn, do you.”

“On the contrary, I find our little matches very edifying indeed. But more importantly, you’re looking positively chipper all of a sudden. Have I entered an alternate universe, or did you really just crack a smile for me?”

“Don’t make me tase you.”

“All right, all right.” Tyki raised his hands in a placating gesture. “But seeing as there’s still some time to kill, how about we have a game or two? Don’t worry, I’m not gonna bet you to let me go. So, what will it be?”

Allen cracked his knuckles, his smile growing wider.

“Your deal or mine?”


	6. Straight into my arms (Lavi + Tyki)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: "You fainted... Straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes"

The music was so loud Lavi could feel it better than hear, the basses pounding in his ears and resonating within his chest. The entire club seemed to throb in synch with the thumping from the speakers, the sounds almost palpable with the way they made the air around him quiver. Or maybe it was those few drinks he had downed that made it all feel so surreal; they certainly weren’t helping, at any rate.

Lavi rubbed his eye, cursing the cigarette smoke swirling in the dim light of the bar. The strobes flashing erratically over the dancefloor converted every movement into a series of snapshots, a different picture with every blink, continuous and detached at the same time. It was making him dizzy -- but just as he was about to turn his head away, something captured his attention.

On the other side of the dancefloor was a tall figure of a man, half-hidden in the deep shadow of the mezzanine. Even so, Lavi could make it out with ease; it caught his eye with the sheer contrast of its stillness against the writhing crowd. The man was lean, with black hair and olive skin -- or at least it appeared so in the darkness and the faint glow of the cigarette in his teeth. He looked almost menacing, and Lavi found himself holding his glance on him far longer than he meant to, as if locked in a silent challenge. The lights flickered around them at their unsteady pace, and a few flashes later the man was gone.

Lavi snapped out of the trance and turned his back to the dancefloor, resting his elbows on the sticky bar counter. The drink in front of him rippled from the vibrations in the air. Lavi gave it an empty look, one finger absent-mindedly tracing the rim of the glass. Finally, he threw his head back and gulped it down in one go, the alcohol stinging in his parched throat. He put the glass down with a thunk, dragged his hand through his sweaty hair and headed back onto the dancefloor.

The wriggling mass of people swallowed him up instantly. Lavi squeezed himself past them until he found a bit of room; his breath shortened as he started moving to the frantic rhythm, the close, sour air sticking to his skin. The earlier drinks were rushing through his system, flooding his brain with a wave of confusion. The music drowned out everything around him. Surrounded by the solid wall of sound, Lavi quickly lost the sense of time and space. The songs faded seamlessly one into another and he had no idea how much time he spent dancing, until a glimpse of the shadow caught by the corner of his eye pulled him back into reality.

The man from before was there again, looking straight at him across the sea of bodies. Lavi whipped around to face him. The man was tapping his foot and swaying a little to the music, but all the time he kept his eyes trained at him, and even smirked briefly when he noticed Lavi returning his gaze. Why the hell was he staring like that? The taunting, magnetic pull of those eyes was too much to handle. Lavi left his spot and headed towards the edge of the floor, intent on getting ahold of this guy and asking what was his problem; but the moment he started weaving his way through the thicket of limbs, he lost the sight of him again. Frustrated, he looked around, craning his neck over people’s heads – and nearly stumbled back in surprise as the stranger suddenly appeared right in front of him.

It was him, no doubt. From up close, he looked even more unsettling, tiger-like amber eyes burning in his handsome face. There was a relaxed grace to his movements, something almost infuriatingly natural; he seemed to be completely unconcerned about everything around him, as if he could simply choose not to touch anything on his path and the path obeyed him.

Lavi swallowed hard as the stranger stepped closer, rocking his hips rhythmically. Whatever happened next -- as Lavi’s mind was too stunned by the music and the alcohol to read into it -- it only lasted a couple of seconds: a fleeting touch, a brush of bodies, a long finger tracing the line of his jaw, and then the guy turned around and vanished into the crowd, leaving Lavi even more dazed than he found him.

_What the fuck is his deal_ , was the first coherent thought that broke through the frozen glass screen around Lavi’s brain. _Where the fuck did he go_ followed close, and Lavi started to push his way through the dancefloor, staggering slightly and jostling against the more oblivious dancers. His head reeled. There seemed to be no air left to breath with, only sweat and cigarette smoke, and when he finally made it to the bar, he could barely stand. He clutched at the counter, trying to steady his shaking legs, when his eye locked in on the familiar figure off to his right, by the bathrooms. Now he had him cornered. Dragging his feet, Lavi stepped up to the dark man and pointed a trembling finger at him.

“You,” he started, and then the world went black.

When he came to, he was sprawled on the cold tiled floor while someone was rather unceremoniously splashing water onto his face. Lavi reluctantly opened his eye to meet a curious amber gaze.

“Ah, good. You decided to wake up,” the man said, with just a hint of a soft, melodious accent. The mole under his left eye hid in lines in his skin as he smiled.

Lavi blinked.

“What the hell happened?”

“You fainted,” the man explained. “Straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“Says the guy who’s been stalking me for almost two hours.” Lavi snorted. “What was that all about? Is there anything you want, or are you just browsing?”

“Look at you go,” the man crooned teasingly. “You’re pretty lively for a guy that folded like a limp noodle three minutes earlier. Relax.”

Lavi did as he was told, although it was hard to relax once he realized his head was in the stranger’s lap. Very carefully, he rolled to the side and sat up, wiping the water from his face with his sleeve.

“Thanks, I guess,” he said, eyeing the man uncertainly. There was something off, but he couldn’t place it, so he decided to shake that thought for the time being. “Um… You want a drink or something?”

“Only if I can buy you one, too.” The man smirked.

“I think I’ve had enough.” Lavi shook his head, wincing as the tiled floor wobbled dangerously before his eye. “Maybe some other time.”

“Does that mean we’ll meet again? I’ll hold you to your promise, Eyepatch.”

“Yeah, sure. And it’s Lavi,” he added, holding out his hand.

“Tyki.” The man’s handshake was short and firm, and the way the tips of his fingers brushed against Lavi’s skin when he let go made the redhead shiver.

“Can you take it from here?” Tyki asked, getting up to help Lavi onto his legs.

“I think so. Thanks again.”

“My pleasure.” Tyki nodded and left the bathroom, leaving Lavi to hold onto the sink and stare into the mirror. He looked like shit. Time to go home. He brushed himself off, groaning under his breath as he realized the rear of his jeans got soaked from the water on the floor – and then it hit him, that weird feeling he couldn’t put his finger on earlier.

Lavi groaned louder and shot out of the bathroom with a string of swears.

That fucker snitched his wallet.


	7. Make me (Lavi + Tyki)

Out of all the issues that his apartment complex had no shortage of, thin walls were definitely on top of Lavi’s list. Obviously, such a crowded building was bound to produce all kinds of noises at all kinds of times, but some of the neighbours were really pushing it. The constant thuds and clatters of unindentified source were enough of a nuisance all day long, but right now, half past 2 friggin’ am., they entered a whole new level of annoying.

Lavi pulled his pillow over his ears, knowing full well it was futile. A pillow was no barrier to the music blasting through the wall next doors, so loud he could make out the lyrics with no problem. Apparently, his neighbour lacked not only consideration, but also good taste.

“God fucking damn it,” Lavi grumbled, his words instantly getting drowned by the heavy thumping of the music. In helpless frustration, he hurled his pillow across the room, kicked off the blanket, snatched his keys and left the flat, slamming the door behind him. Smacking on the tiles with his bare feet, he walked to the next door over and knocked as hard as he could, racking his brain for his neighbour’s name. Terry? Timmy? Oh, right, Tyki.

It didn’t matter anyway, because even though he’s been pounding on the door to his heart’s content, no one answered. No fucking wonder, with the damn music turned up so loud it would be a miracle if the guy hadn’t gone deaf already. Lavi kicked the door one last time and went back to his flat, cursing his neighbour in his thoughts with every expletive he could remember at this ungodly hour. The walls of his bedroom were still resonating with Tyki’s repertoire, so instead of flopping himself on the bed and fraying his nerves even more with another doomed attempt to fall asleep, Lavi crossed the room and stepped out on the balcony to get some fresh air and hopefully calm down.

No such luck. As soon as he went out, his blood boiled with a self-righteous rage. The main pain in his neck was leaning on the railing of his own balcony just to his left, calmly having a smoke with his racket pouring out the open door behind him. Lavi lost the rest of his patience -- of which there wasn't much to begin with.

“Hey,” he shouted, hoping to get through over the noise. “Turn that shit down!”

“Why, you don’t like it?” Tyki looked over at him, the glowing tip of his cigarette flickering as he spoke.

“I’m not a fan of the volume,” Lavi quipped. “But it would be just as bad if you played it at any other.”

“Maybe you’re just too young to appreciate it,” Tyki smirked, taking the cigarette out to tap the ash off over the railing.

“I would appreciate it if you weren’t so fucking loud.”

“Now, now. Why should I be nice and polite to someone who insults my music like that?”

“Come on, man!” Lavi threw his arms up in exasperation. “It’s almost 3 am.! Just turn it off and let people go to sleep already!”

“Come over here and make me.” Tyki quirked an eyebrow, the smirk never leaving his face.

“Damn right I will.” Lavi gritted his teeth, giving the gap between the balconies a taxing look. Two meters tops. Piece of cake. He threw his leg over the railing, straddling it for a moment before he found his footing on the other side, on the narrow bit between the railing and the edge of the balcony floor. Gripping the rail for the dear life, Lavi took his other leg over it as well; now he was balancing outside, and suddenly it didn’t seem like such a good idea. But he’d be damned if he were to back out now.

His hands were quickly getting slippery with sweat. Lavi carefully extended his leg, resting it on a narrow shelf running along the outer wall of the building. Now all that was left was to lunge himself forward, grab the railing of the other balcony and pull himself up. With a heavy breath, Lavi let go of the railing, propelling himself towards his neighbour.

His fingers missed the rail by maybe an inch.

Lavi didn’t even have time to start screaming. One second, he felt himself falling; in the next, something was pulling his wrist out of its socket and tugging hard at his shirt. He looked up to meet Tyki’s wide-eyed stare, the cigarette still in his clenched teeth.

“Are you gonna help me, or what?” Tyki gasped, leaning back to try and pull him up and narrowly avoiding knocking the ash into Lavi’s good eye. Lavi grasped at the railing and put his leg up to rest against the balcony floor. With combined effort, they finally managed to pull him up enough for Tyki to tug him safely over onto his balcony.

“Geez, brat, what the hell is wrong with you?” he wheezed, one of his hands still clenched on the back of Lavi’s shirt.

“No depth perception.” Lavi pointed a trembling thumb to his eyepatch. “It’s not just for show, you know.”

“Could have fooled me,” Tyki mumbled, discarding his cigarette and patting his pockets down for a fresh one. “Fuck, I need a smoke. You almost gave me a heart attack. Don’t you dare do that again, you idiot.”

Lavi blinked, feeling vaguely confused. He came here with the intention of telling the guy off, but instead it was him who was getting a scolding. He nodded uncertainly and slowly got up to his shaky feet.

“Yeah, sure. Thanks, man.”

“No problem. Now, I think it would do you good to go to sleep. It’s way past your bedtime. And for heaven’s sake, use the door on your way back.” Tyki headed back into his flat with Lavi close on his heels.

“Uh, about that…” Lavi scratched his head, finally able to think clearly as the shock wore off. “I don’t have my keys.”

“What was that?” Tyki asked, fiddling with the remote of his stereo.

“I left my keys at home,” Lavi repeated in the silence that fell once the hellish music was turned off at last. “I can’t go back to my flat. At least not through the door.”

“Oh, no. No way I’m letting you go back the way you came.” Tyki folded his arms and positioned himself between Lavi and the balcony door. “There’s no one to catch your sorry half-blind ass over there.”

“Relax, it’s not like I’m gonna try.” Lavi shrugged. “Guess I’ll just have to wait until morning and figure something out. Thanks again. See you around,” he added and headed for the door. He was halfway across the room when Tyki stopped him.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going? The couch is over there.”

“Huh?” Lavi sent him a puzzled glance over his shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you’re going to sleep in the hall. Or is my couch as bad as my music?”

“Nah.” Lavi shook his head with a smile. “Your couch sounds fine.”


End file.
